Where Will I Go?
Image credits: Mhz Jenn
Published March 16, 2021, 8:47 a.m. by Jennifer Appoh (jenniferappoh@gmail.com)
I'm so tired of living for others, yes tired! That's the word... Exhausted of pretending. Yes, it seems to be the only word in the dictionary. (Yes with a wide smile).
Wake up! You are losing that link between you and your soul! The world is crowded and everyone seems to be out for themselves. Sometimes you might end up living just for someone, and that loves, is a tragedy😞.
I am a child who has known the greatest love there is and one who longed for an affirmation that eluded me. Alicia keys definitely shared in how I feel when she said, "I've been a builder of inner walls and a burier of feelings".
If I wanted to say how I felt and hide... Where will I go?
I always thought it was best I got hurt and so I buried it till I felt numb. I mean, I would rather go through the pain than risk being rejected by the person that hurts me. Sometimes it was easier to run away and not be committed or closer to anyone. Is that even possible when I seem to be a people person? I try so hard not to hurt anyone and end up doing exactly the opposite.
Loved ones seem to know what's best for me when all they do is confuse me the more. "Pay attention!", sometimes I want to yell those words. I seem to have a lot to say but they never get said.
If I say it and I'm rejected where will I go?
"Stand tall, chin up and smile ..... Whatever life throws at you, take it and move". How I wish it was that simple.
"Loneliness is terrifying, so no matter what it takes, try to make them stay even if it means losing yourself". "Be indispensable to them". I always hear the voices in my head whispering these words to me. But, it always goes south, and I never seem to learn.
Sometimes I want to run. I want to hide my face where it can't be seen, but where will I go?
This is Me! And I can't seem to figure myself out. Funny how people quickly think they know you. Excuse me? You only know what I show you.
"Do I even belong somewhere? Am I enough? Do I have all the answers I seek inside of me? How do I get them?"
When you pay attention to yourself, you are labelled selfish. I can't even seem to find the balance.
Hide me Earth...... Where will I go?
I'm done living outside myself!... Every day I meet this powerful young woman, who is trying really hard to make something out of herself and I'm proud of her. Sometimes it gets confusing and depressing but dear reader, that's growth. You have come far and there's no stopping.
If you decide to leave your exclusive path to another,
WHERE WILL YOU GO?
About Author:
Read all posts by Jennifer Appoh (jenniferappoh@gmail.com)
Don't write what you think people want to read.Find your voice and write about what's in your heart....... Quentin Tarantino.
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