The Colour Blue Remains Blue

Category: Lifestyle | Tags(#): Life , love , normal , marriage , morals , values

Image credits: Google search images

Published Nov. 1, 2021, 8:07 p.m. by Jennifer Appoh (jenniferappoh@gmail.com)

Learning and unlearning should be consistent in everyone's life if we want to move forward.  You do not have to endure any hell or two because some people you know/knew endured it. To narrow it down, you are not your parents and you don't need to necessarily go through what they went through in their lives. You can, however, learn from their mistakes and listen to them so you don't repeat or make similar ones. Most definitely you will make your own mistakes and you will have to get your head around it but never ever accept something bad for yourself because your parents or someone else endured it.  

Marriage is a unique and blessed institution. It should be kept holy. In as much as things go wrong in marriages, such anomalies should not be accepted as normal.  This generation is fond of glorifying their ills by lying to themselves about what they feel is right, wrong or normal. Do not lie to yourself. What is right remains right and what is wrong remains wrong. Interesting enough, every form of religion accepts this. 

Do not justify one's hell or challenges as normality. It's a cruel thing to do. 

Society today is painting a delicate picture of a new normality which is quite alarming. Because come to think of it, why do men/women allow people to hold them on such low standards? You commit to someone and after defying it, It becomes the woman's/man's fault for supposedly not holding you down?  The good book says a woman should be humble to her husband. It didn't come with a condition, right? I'm guessing staying faithful to your wife didn't too.

Wherefrom this culture of blame-shifting? It's her fault you can't stick to your commitment? Will the opposite be true? Have you considered that? And interestingly, we define what should be an abuse and what shouldn't. Men are more than the predatory tags society has labelled them with. Men are humans. They can be prey too. Women are more than the prey tags society has labelled them with. Women are humans. They can be predators too. The point is this, humans make mistakes but that is no excuse for mediocrity in terms of morality and values. 

Most people who accept this new abnormality are people who are victimized by these senseless norms and are willing to subject others to the same thing.

Then we have the single unmarried women/men like myself who don't even have a clue how it hurts to have been disrespected, cheated or abused by your best friend (your spouse). I have the opinion that marriage remains a two-way affair. So the woman/man might have made some mistakes but it never justifies abuse, disrespect or cheating. Let's tell ourselves the truth. 

It gets better when you realise that it's women that subject these men to such undermining positions and they  (men) happily embrace it. There are a lot of things we need to learn and unlearn as a society one thing at a time. Women! Stop being your own enemies and make sure you know the whole story before you comment on any issue on marriage. 

We need to confront these difficult issues and talk about them. Let's not create a complex prison for ourselves and later complain. Let's tell ourselves the truth and stop justifying falsehood just to make us feel better about ourselves.

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Read all posts by Jennifer Appoh (jenniferappoh@gmail.com)

Don't write what you think people want to read.Find your voice and write about what's in your heart....... Quentin Tarantino.